As any Packer fan does, I have my favorite players and those I just don’t like that much. My ranking system is simple: you either suck, or you don’t.
There is no statistical analysis, or fancy flow charts to my list. The status can change from week to week or month to month. It is arbitrary and uninformed. A simple mental error, or game changing mistake, can shift you from one side to the other. Say something stupid and you might suck before you know it.
Here is the 2009 “Suck List” as I see it. Good luck to all those who made the leap to non-suckitude.
Long Snappers
Brett Goode: Doesn’t suck (he’s a longsnapper, that’s shame enough)
Kickers
Mason Crobsy: Doesn’t Suck (keep missing game winners and that can change)
Punters
Jeremy Kapinos: Doesn’t suck (after Frost, this is automatic)
Durant Brooks: Sucks (hasn’t proven anything, plus he’s a punter)
Quarterbacks
Aaron Rodgers: Doesn’t Suck (the factual ones are easy)
Matt Flynn: Sucks (sorry not sold)
Brian Brohm: Sucks (could easily be sucking elsewhere in four weeks)
Running Backs
Ryan Grant: Sucks (here, here, and here)
Brandon Jackson: Doesn’t suck (again, give the ball to Jackson)
DeShawn Wynn: Doesn’t suck (I hope he shows up finally)
Kregg Lumpkin: Sucks
Tyrell Sutton: Sucks
Fullbacks
Korey Hall: Sucks
John Kuhn: Sucks
Quinn Johnson: Doesn’t suck (here’s to hoping)
Wide Receivers
Greg Jennings: Doesn’t suck (come on)
Donald Driver: Doesn’t suck (after this off-season, Driver is closer to the suck list than he ever has been)
James Jones: Doesn’t suck (I like James)
Jordy Nelson: Doesn’t suck (see James Jones)
Ruvell Martin: Doesn’t suck (give us one Ruvell)
Jamarko Simmons: Doesn’t suck (a rare undrafted rookie gets a pass)
Brett Swain: Doesn’t suck (I like the last play of this video)
Jake Allen: Sucks (Taco Wallace)
Kole Heckendorf: Sucks (nevermind)
Tight Ends
Donald Lee: Doesn’t suck (nothing flashy but solid)
Jermichael Finley: Sucks (sorry dude, twitter doesn’t get you a pass)
Tory Humphrey: Sucks
Spencer Havner: Sucks (it better not come to this)
Centers
Jason Spitz: Sucks (no proof in the pudding yet)
Scott Wells: Sucks (I like his attitude, but he sucks anyway)
Duke Preston: Sucks (you can suck at being versatile too)
Guards
Daryn Colledge: Doesn’t suck (he played on blue turf)
Josh Sitton: Sucks (has to earn some more non-suck points yet)
T.J. Lang: Doesn’t suck (nice mini-camp)
Allen Barbre: Sucks (plenty of opportunity to prove he is the real deal)
Tackles
Chad Clifton: Doesn’t suck (it’s Clifton)
Jamon Meredith: Sucks (prove them all wrong Jamon)
Breno Giacomini: Sucks (nothing but a cool name to show for anything)
Tony Moll: Really Sucks
Defensive Ends
Cullen Jenkins: Doesn’t suck (most overlooked returning player this season)
Johnny Jolly: Sucks (not the biggest Jolly fan)
Jarius Wynn: Sucks (rookie sixth rounder…enough said.
Justin Harrell: Sucks (bustin’ Justin)
Michael Montgomery: Sucks
Alfred Malone: Sucks
Nose Tackles
Ryan Pickett: Doesn’t suck (enjoy your last season in Green Bay)
B.J. Raji: Doesn’t Suck (automatic pass for making the draft not suck)
Anthony Toribio: Sucks (eat more, suck less)
Linebackers
Aaron Kampman: Doesn’t suck (this will be the last year that Kamp will see the list)
Brady Poppinga: Sucks (this could easily change)
Brandon Chillar: Doesn’t suck (I like Chillar)
Nick Barnett: Doesn’t suck (he needs to be healthy)
Desmond Bishop: Doesn’t suck (still makes the list because of this)
A.J. Hawk: Doesn’t suck (I hold firm in my belief 2008 was hindered by injury)
Jeremy Thompson: Sucks (let’s see it on the field)
Clay Matthews: Sucks (live up to the hype)
Spencer Haver: Sucks (the tenth linebacker)
Danny Lansanah: Sucks (Tracy White can come back now)
Cornerbacks
Charles Woodson: Doesn’t suck (again, facts are easy)
Al Harris: Doesn’t suck (broken spleen)
Tramon Williams: Doesn’t suck (nice work Tramon)
Joe Porter: Doesn’t suck (he came on our show)
Will Blackmon: Doesn’t suck (a touchdown machine)
Pat Lee: Sucks (big potential to not suck this season)
Brandon Underwood: Sucks
Jarrett Bush: You SUCK (and you always will)
Safety
Nick Collins: Sucks (you suck Collins)
Atari Bigby: Sucks (sucks but gets hoes)
Anthony Smith: Sucks (no evidence on non-suckage yet)
Aaron Rouse: Sucks (you have to do more than make two big hits)
Charlie Peprah: Sucks (it’s Peprah)
That is my list as it stands today. If you see a name missing, it is safe to assume, “They suck.”
13 - People Actually Wrote Something Here
longtimefan Said,
LOL
Posted on July 20th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Aaron Said,That hurt my brain to read…
Alex Reply:
July 20th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
That sucks.
Posted on July 20th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Franklin Hillside Said,Any time Tracy White is referenced, Ted Thompson gets stung by a three hornets. Fact.
Posted on July 20th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
MrBacon Said,You had a good list going Alex… You really did.
Then you put “The Best Special Teams Player” on this list.
This article now not only fails, but sucks because of putting “He who shall not be named” on the list.
Jersey Al
Twitter: JerseyAlGBP
Reply:
July 20th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
I guess we should be worried about the safety position…
MrBacon Reply:
July 20th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
Im surprised Alex went and jinxed on our Safetys, since you know Favre is going to be a Viking. Maybe he was secretly born with a Vikings helmet on his head.
Posted on July 20th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
jeremiah Said,so all our safeties suck, and half our offensive line sucks……man i hope you suck at making this list, and are wrong about some of those guys…
Posted on July 21st, 2009 at 8:48 am
Graham Said,Good list, respectable.
Ryan Grant does not suck, Brandon Jackson does. You can have that view, however it will change quickly.
Posted on July 21st, 2009 at 9:28 am
Toby Hump Said,Yes it’s true, the unwritten opinion on the Green Bay Packers 2009 season is: we’re gonna suck like a skilled hoe with a $50 tip.
Posted on July 21st, 2009 at 9:28 am
Asshalo Said,Funny for the most part. Except, you’re wrong on the fullbacks. QJ hasn’t done anything to prove he’s better than either Kunn or Hall. Bedard even said he got thrown around like a rag doll during mini camp (of course, AK74 was doing the throwing). Still, you don’t hear about that happening to the other two. Not that I’m high on the other too. Here’s to hoping is right.
Posted on July 21st, 2009 at 9:41 am
Alex Said,The suck list is not a working gauge for performance. It is merely how often I find myself saying, “You Suck” while watching the game.
Posted on July 21st, 2009 at 9:48 am
Greg C. Said,Here’s where I differ:
Mason Crosby–sucks (one of the worst FG kickers in the league last year, and missed two game-winners)
Ryan Grant–doesn’t suck
DeShawn Wynn–sucks (always hurt)
Corey Hall–doesn’t suck
John Kuhn–doesn’t suck
Jason Spitz–doesn’t suck
Daryn Colledge–sucks
Nick Collins–doesn’t suck
Atari Bigby–doesn’t suck (I give him the A.J. Hawk injury exemption)
Considering how long the list is, that’s not too many disagreements. I liked your comment about Duke Preston. That one made me laugh.
Posted on July 22nd, 2009 at 6:31 am